California, USA – This week billion dollar company YouTube announced it will be adding trigger warnings for audiences, to prevent them from being offended by Christian Black Metal. “This is the best move forward in our progressive society, to prevent any further upset” CEO Susan Wojcicki told media, “we’ll have to take it one step at a time.”
Trigger warnings were said to be highly detailed, catered to audiences who want a safe space on YouTube. Trigger warnings included tags such as “does not contain themes of National Socialism or Satanism; has no affiliation to Adolf Hitler or the Nazi party; lyrics derived from the Bible; lyrics involving Christian values” and “this band has no recorded suicides – are you sure you want to continue?” Sources indicated these trigger warnings were set in place to help people who suffered hours lost spent on angry comments on these unchecked bands. “I remember it was just last Friday, I got done watching one of them ISIS execution videos, when… When I was tricked into listening to what seemed like ordinary black metal” a disgusted user said, “I mean, why wouldn’t they just ban those videos off of YouTube?” An eyewitness reported that the Odinist community was next to demand trigger warnings on Satanic bands, as they still worshipped Satan a person from the Bible – which is still too Christian for them.
At publishing time some new complaints had reached the YouTube help centre, complaints discussing the need for further trigger warnings for other “non-trve” black metal bands.
The Daily Unblack 