USA, Illinois – A man who was reported to have been upset online took to complaining to a coworker during his lunch break. “Christians just don’t get it, they are not allowed to make black metal!” the middle aged employee was overheard speaking to his coworker, “this just makes me mad!” Eye witnesses all said his coworker merely nodded her head before digging around for her phone and texting.
Further investigation showed that the man had not stopped there, but proceeded to pace up and down the office space angrily. “I don’t know what happened today, I only heard something about Christians who were black. I have no problem with whatever race decides to be whatever religion” a person close to the scene said to sources.
Word of this managed to spread to a Christian black metal band in the area. “I can’t believe this, we never knew Christians weren’t supposed to make black metal” the frontman commented, preferring to stay anonymous “well I guess we had a good run, but now it’s time to pull the plug. We’ve already sent a message out to every Christian black metal band in the world. It’s the end of the scene.”
At publishing time the disgruntled employee had taken the day off work, to go and tell his family how Christians aren’t allowed to make death metal.
The Daily Unblack 